Self improvement

Reflections| 4 identities of everyone | Why Be yourself is not good advice to give.

We do hear lots of stuff like “Be yourself”. Don’t try to be someone or somebody. Identify your true nature and be proud for what you are.

After a time man comes to know that these all are the “self congratulating labels”. When person identifies weakness and some sense of incompleteness, he just breaks the idea of “Be yourself” and accept the fact that he needs improvement and he cannot continue to be what he is.

Person starts his self improvement journey, after acceptance of self. In the process of self improvement he makes some imaginations about what or what kind of person he wants to be. We all have done that. We have our ideals, role models like whom we want to become, who are complete and perfact in our view.

The purpose of this post is not to say that one should not have ideals and role models or some kind of imaginary improved version of self, but it is to bring the your attention towards the problem that comes in the path of self improvement because of such ideals and role models.

The problem is known as Reflections. It occurs when one starts identifying himself with those role models, ideals or improved version of self. When he try to showcase that he has become what he wanted to be, despite not being so.

Conclusion is that everyone makes his 4 identities in improvement journey for the society.

  1. What he is
  2. What he thinks he is
  3. What he wants to show himself as
  4. What he Actually shows himself.

You may think the identity number 3 and 4 should be same.

But in reality it is never.

For example, A person who is non productive and lazy always thinks that he is not so. He tries to showcase himself as the most productive person this world has ever witnessed and wants to build his like image.

A person usually fails in doing so, and at the end the world actually sees him as an idiot who is not accepting his weaknesses and trying to showcase himself as a perfact person, which he is not.

Why Be yourself is not a good advice ?

What people thinks “Be yourself” Means having proud on the self. You are happy about what you are and you don’t want to become someone or something. Also you show yourself to others your true nature, your true capabilities and belief system.

Be yourself sounds like “Be proud on what you are”

The problem will come when what you are is not really something to take pride on. What if you are a lazy and low self-esteemed person ?

Is the “Be yourself” still good advice ?

So, here is the solution,

You must have only two identities: The one who you are and another what kind of person you wants to become.

It means only identity no. 1 and 2. And you should not deliberately show yourself as the second identity. Apply Be yourself here.

Accept your weakness and continuously aim for improvement. One’s you improve a Little bit, your first identity will get closer to second identity. And by the time the gap between this two identities will get eliminated and you will become what you always wanted to be.

Just make sure you don’t create new identity of yourself. Don’t show yourself as the improved person that you wanted to be. Don’t create fake identities. Just be yourself moment to moment.